Wrong Turn

Part One

Anthony POV.

             The rain was pouring over me, raindrops sliding down my skin till they splash onto the pavement underneath me. I had an eerie feeling like standing in an empty parking spot. Anxiety was creeping through my skin as I waited for you. I looked around hoping to see more than just the street lights dimly lighting the way back to the highway. My mouth turned sour and I was starting to feel as if I was too late. I spit on the floor and paced around for a minute. I wish we wouldn’t have argued on our last call. I got inside my car, put it in reverse and drove to the only place I think you’d escape to.

            The traffic was heavy at this hour and I couldn’t help but think that you might be in one of the cars I’m passing. The alarm on my phone went off… it’s 5:30. You would be calling me any minute now telling me you are getting off of work. I shook my head and grabbed the now cold coffee that was sitting in the cupholder. I took a big gulp and the sugar sprung more energy into my body. This is what I needed although it did just taste like dirt. I was pulling up to the bridge. Once I parked, I didn’t bother to turn off the car. Instead, I ran over to where I could imagine you picking seashells and placing them in the pockets of your dress.

            I ran through the sand dirtying the new suit you just bought for me. The emerald green shone from the sun’s reflection off the beach waves. You weren’t here. I shoved my hands in my pockets and clenched my fists trying to refrain from getting more frustrated with myself. If only I had picked up the damn phone I wouldn’t have missed the last call I might ever receive from you.

Flashback 4 hours ago

            My phone was ringing. I quickly pulled out the phone and answered it.

            “What do you want now?” I snapped.

            “Why do you insist on fighting? Why do you have to continue lying to me?”

            “I’m at work, Riley! Something you don’t understand!” There was a brief silence.

            “I’ve been working my ass off to get back some of what we lost while I was out, you know that. I have been at work so much I don’t even remember what I last did for myself.”

            “Let’s talk later.”

            “No, let’s talk now.”

            “Maybe we should consider a divorce.” I regret it as soon as it came out of my mouth but I didn’t let her know that.

            “Please… tell me what to do.” She pleaded.

            “I have to go.” I hung up the phone.

Fast Forward 2 1/2 hours later. Riley POV.

            I don’t understand what happened between our marriage but everything seems to be falling apart. I got promoted and started working so much because I know financially we are struggling. I didn’t mean for my condition to put us in such a bind but he never told me how it was really effecting him either. Maybe I can bring back old memories by surprising him with a fancy dinner at our favorite restaurant. I called the place and booked our date for 7pm.

            The time now is 3:45pm. I picked up the files I needed to take to the courthouse and started to walk to the parking garage. If I dropped these off in time, I could go home and change before meeting Anthony there. I sent him a text with our dinner plans so he knew where to meet me. I got in the elevator and pushed the button to go down to the garage. I was getting excited hoping I could somehow save our marriage. The elevator stopped and two others joined me. I stepped aside as I didn’t recognize them but I’m still new so I could have not met them yet. These men were dressed not in suits like our attorneys but jeans, black button up shirt, and torn up backpacks. Maybe they’re witnesses to a trial.

            The elevator stopped on the garage floor and we all stepped out. I picked up my pace a little bit as I started to feel uneasy. I could tell they were following me so I pulled out my phone, dropped the documents and started running. I started to dial Anthony and he wasn’t picking up. I was begging in my mind that he would answer just in time. I took a quick glance behind me and they were right at my shoulders. I screamed and one grabbed my arms while the other put some cloth in my mouth to mute my voice. I panicked and dropped my phone. Next thing I know everything went black.

Shadow People

A Short Story

             Wednesday 9:30 pm. I unbuttoned my shirt as I let the fabric slowly slide off my shoulders. I pulled off my jeans and put on a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I walked over to the restroom and began brushing my teeth while my eyes grew heavier and heavier by the second. I spit out the toothpaste in my mouth, swished around some mouthwash and looked up at the mirror. As I started to pull myself under the blankets piled on top of my bed, my body fell numb. Figuring I must be exhausted, I rolled over to my side and fell asleep instantly.

            Wednesday 3:00 am. My hands started to twitch and my body was stuck. I laid on my back with my eyes shut, unable to open them. I recognize this feeling. I attempt screaming and trying to move my body to get any sort of movement to wake myself up but nothing happens. I see an image of a shadow figure getting closer to my chest even though my eyes are shut. It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream. The figure is now directly in front of my face and it begins a deep, grungy laugh. Fear filled my body and my heart started to pound. Chills surround my skin as I continue trying to move or make a sound. As I’m staring at this figure, I manage a small groan. It moves and suddenly it’s silent. My bed starts shaking violently causing my anxiety to rush through my body. He is hovering over me so closely that I could almost see the distinct features of his face but still, nothing was there. Just a shadow of a man. I struggle with my body, now twitching as I’m fighting this paralysis. My finger moves, my leg moves, my eyes shoot open and I take a deep inhale. No one is there, my room is the same, it’s just me.

            Saturday 2:30 am. The room went cold. It feels as if the temperature dropped 20 degrees instantly. I shivered and pulled my blankets closer to me as I switched positions in my bed. I took a deep breath and my eyes went heavy. My ears started ringing and voices were talking and laughing all around me. I felt the presence of people touching and tugging at my blankets, laying on the bed next to me, touching my arms, and whispering things in my ear that I couldn’t understand. I thought maybe they would go away if I didn't fight it, so I laid there and listened. Their voices grew louder, their presence grew closer, and my heart started to beat faster. My body began to tremble as the fear grew inside me. I couldn't take it anymore so I began to shake. No movements were coming out as I was struggling to wake up. I felt people’s arms pushing me down into my bed to keep me from waking up. I felt like I was drowning so I tried kicking. Nothing happened. I felt small twitching in my legs as my body was trying to respond but these figures had a strong presence. I moved my facial muscles, let out a blood curdling scream, and shot up from where I was laying. The temperature in my room went back to normal, my heart rate went back to normal, and the feeling of being watched faded away.

            Tuesday 11:10 pm. I looked into the mirror, staring at the dark circles under my eyes. It looks as if I haven't slept in weeks. I reached over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. I sighed heavily, turned on the faucet, and swallowed one pill. I put the bottle back in the cabinet and walked over to my bed. The whole walk felt as if I were being followed by a group of people, the darkness enclosing around my shoulders trying to keep me out of the light. I pulled the blankets up to my chest and laid down on my back. As I stared at the ceiling, I began to think of what all these episodes of paralysis meant. I closed my eyes and felt a figure lay down beside me. It leaned over to me, it’s breath flew across my neck, and then nothing. The faint sound of two people talking started to fill in both of my ears. The right side had a priest praying, talking to the other being to come to some sort of agreement. The left side quickly became clear. The devil was arguing with the priest. Growling filled the room and suddenly everything stopped. I looked around the room and there was nothing but the dim glow from my light I left on in the hallway. I then fell into a deep slumber.        

            Wednesday 2:30 pm. The priest walked around my house saying his prayers, splashing holy water, making the sign of the cross. He felt the presence of these spirits and said after this, they should be gone. After an hour of prayer, I thanked him and he left.

            Monday 9 pm. I changed into my pajamas and sat on the side of my bed. I drank from the glass of water that was on my bedside table, put it down, and looked over to the front of my room. There were four shadow figures hovering around the room, just staring as if they were now watching over me rather than trying to attack me. I laid under the covers and closed my eyes. “Hello,” one voice said. I smiled and accepted that these spirits were here again. I felt safe this time.

A Little Bit Yours

A Short Story

         He put a spoonful of soup in his mouth. The steam was flaring off the metal so you knew the heat was burning the inside of his mouth but he didn’t react. He continued to eat it anyways. His lips turned a bright pink and his tongue slipped out slightly separating his lips to lick the remaining soup off his mouth.

        “Do you have to go?” I whispered. He didn’t react for a moment. Swallowing the food he had in his mouth, he lifted his head a bit and looked at me.

        “Yes,” he said. We both sat there for the rest of dinner not saying anything more. Once we both finished, I gathered all the dishes while he started to put away the leftovers. Neither of us ate too much. He finished packing the food and walked over to the bedroom. I watched as he hesitated to go without me but he didn’t stop. His blue sweats were dragging on the floor hanging just barely by his hips. He was starting to lose weight from the stress but still looked so fine. The muscles in his back contracted as he stretched his shoulders leaving his hands in his pockets. He was probably trying to hide that he was holding up his sweats from falling because he hates going shopping.

        I left the dishes on the drying rack for the morning. I didn’t have the energy to dry them and put them away tonight. I washed my hands and walked over to the bedroom. I stood by our doorway, hesitating to walk inside. I took a few steps in the room and saw he was already asleep. I sighed and pursed my lips. I tip toed over to the bed, grabbed my pillow and walked back out into the living room. I laid the pillow down at the end of the sofa and laid there in the dark before drifting off to sleep.

        My eyes started to flutter open after hearing sounds come from the kitchen. I glanced over rubbing my eyes to try and focus. He was making coffee and cooking omelets. He looked up from the pan, shot me a half smile, and glanced back down. His golden brown hair was scruffy, he needed to shave as his stubble was starting to show, and he changed out of his sweats now in a pair of gray slacks. He leaves today.

        I started to get up from the sofa and my back ached. I stopped and stretched, reaching my arms up to the ceiling with my eyes shut. Once I opened my eyes again, he was standing right beside me. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He smelled of soap and his favorite cologne, Eau D'Aromes by Armani. I wrapped my arms around him and thought this felt too much like we were saying goodbye rather than him just leaving for a business trip.

        “Why did you sleep on the sofa?” He asked although he already knew the answer.

        “I didn’t want to wake you.” I lied. He exhaled deeply.

        “I’ll be back home before you know it.” He said in a low voice.

        “I know… I just wish you could stay.” I whimpered. I didn’t want to be in this big home without him. The house is so large that it often already feels so empty when he’s here, I can’t imagine what it is going to be like when he’s gone. Of course this isn’t the first night I’ll be in the house alone but this time will be different. He won’t be just a phone call away, he’s going to be thousands of miles away out of my reach. My heart starts to crumble at the thought.

        He lets go of me and walks back into the kitchen. He turns off the stove and plates the food at the dining room table so we can eat together. He sits down and stares at me, waiting to touch his food until I sit bedside him. The aroma of coffee, orange juice, the omelet with cheese, mushrooms and spinach all making my stomach grumble. He chuckled after hearing my stomach and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. All of this reminded me of our honeymoon. I suddenly felt nauseous.

        “What time does your flight leave?” I asked.

        “Is Cara coming to stay the night while I’m gone?” He asked trying to change the subject.

        “Jaren…” I said softly.

        “I have to leave after breakfast.” He said as he continued to eat. His grip on the silverware tightened so I knew he was pushing his time already. His shoulders rose as he took a deep breath and he started chewing faster. I picked up my fork, cut a piece of the omelet and started to eat. My tastebuds were dancing in my mouth with the different flavors and the food nearly melted in my mouth. He was a hell of a cook, I’ll give him that. I took a sip of coffee and dabbed my mouth with a napkin. After we both finished eating, we sat there again in silence, not looking at one another but just glancing down at the table.

        He got up and walked up behind me, leaned over and whispered, “I love you, Mina.”

        He started to gather the plates and put them in the sink. My breath hitched as I couldn’t keep the secret in any longer.

        “I’m pregnant!” I blurted out unsteady and louder than I anticipated. My eyes started to sting and my face felt warm. I heard the dishes clash. I turned to look at Jaren who was now hovering over the kitchen sink, his arms gripping the counter to keep him from toppling over. The alarm on his phone went off. It’s time for him to leave.

Dance with Me

A Short Story

Jessica and I were getting ready at her house before meeting up with our friends, Adam, Tyler, Jenny and Laura. We’ve been friends since high school so we made sure to get together at least once a month to host a game night.

            “Girl, it always feels like forever since we’ve last seen each other! What’s new?” Jessica asked while selecting a CD to play.

            “I’ve just been working, you know how it is. I got promoted after the last gig and I have another event planned in two months in London. I’m so excited to finally be able to travel the world with this job.” I said.

            “Well, you’re a hell of an event planner! If you don’t take me with you to London, I’m going to start seriously considering this friendship.” We laughed.

            “How about you? How’s things with Jaren?” I asked. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

            “Things didn’t work out well so I’ve just been living life and doing my thing for now. I’ve had a few new cases at work so it’s helped me to distract myself from it.” She admit.

            “I’m sorry… but that means we can have more girl trips!” I said to lighten the mood.

            “Oo we’re always going to be wild there’s no taming me.” She teased while starting to dance to the music. We finished getting ready and walked out the door to drive to Adam’s house.

~

            Jessica pulled up to Adam’s driveway and it looks like everyone else is already here. We walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Laura swung it open and screamed while throwing herself into our arms. Jenny and the guys came walking up behind her. We all exchanged hugs and walked inside. Adam had the bar set up so drinks were already prepared. Tyler and Adam had a beer, Jenny had a mixed drink, and Laura was downing shots of tequila. Jessica walked over to make a mixed drink and I decided to start with a beer. Different games were laid out to choose from but Laura decided on starting the night off with a competitive game of beer pong.

            We set up the table but to make it interesting, some cups were filled with lime juice. Adam, Tyler and Jenny were on a team so I paired up with Jessica and Laura. It didn’t take long for everyone to get pumped as we were all pretty good at the game. About 2 minutes in, no one has gotten the two cups of lime juice yet. We were screaming at each other across the table trying to distract the other person so it was turning into a speed round between Adam and Laura.

            “So, are you going to make your move tonight?” Jessica asked devilishly.

            “No, it doesn’t feel like the right time.” I responded shyly. She laughed in response and nudged my shoulder.

            “Let’s just see how long that feeling lasts. He’s been looking at you all night. I have an idea.” She winked. Jessica walked up to the table, saw the remaining three cups, picked them up and moved them to the sink.

            “Hey, we were winning!” Laura said defeated.

            “Why don’t we play a game of spin the bottle? I’m sure we could make that more exciting for the birthday boy.” She smiled towards Tyler. He looked down with his cheeks flushed. Everyone nodded in response as they knew where Jessica was going with this so Adam grabbed an empty beer bottle and we all gathered around the living room floor.

            “Alright, let’s see.” Adam spun the bottle on the ground and it slowly stopped at Jenny.

            “Jenny, truth or dare?” Adam said excitedly.

            “Truth!” Jenny responded.

            “I want you to spill the dirty little secret you’ve been keeping from the group.” He said. Jenny blushed immediately and decided now was as good of a time as ever to reveal their secret.

            “Adam and I have been dating for two months.” She said nervously. Everyone in the group cheered and shot their arms up. All of us hugged Jenny and the guys were hitting Adam for not telling them about it sooner. We all laughed and were overjoyed at the news. We knew it was bound to happen but the fact that it finally did, we all couldn’t believe it. I adjusted myself and kneaded the palm of my hand, thoughts wandering of how I wish I could tell Tyler I still have feelings for him.

            “Alright Tyler, it’s your turn.” Jessica said. He grabbed the bottle and flicked his wrist. The bottle spun for what felt like forever. Everyone in the room was getting anxious as to who it was going to land on and then suddenly it slowed down and pointed to me.

            “Oooo Natalie!” Everyone boomed. My cheeks flushed and I laughed at the sudden embarrassment. I looked up and locked eyes with Tyler waiting for his question.

            “Truth or dare?” he asked.

            “Dare.” I responded immediately in regret. Everyone flung up to their knees with excitement. Before Tyler could respond, Jessica interrupted.

            “Do you mind if I suggest a dare for you both?” We stared at her, looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

            “I dare you two to have a staring contest.” Jessica said with a half smile. Everyone stared at us to see what our reaction would be. Butterflies were filling my stomach. Why did I choose dare? Tyler looked over at me and said, “Well, come sit over here by me then.” I got up and sat across from him. Jessica, Jenny, Laura and Adam were all scooting closer together biting their tongues. They turned on the radio and watched as if something huge was about to happen. We started the staring contest. I didn’t know what to say and I noticed his throat swallow.

            “Happy Birthday, Tyler.” I said almost in a whisper. It was like my voice didn’t want anyone else to hear what I had to say. He smiled noticing my nervousness.

            “Thanks, Natalie.” He responded.

            The tension in the room was growing more intense by the minute. I could tell everyone felt it because they all started to whisper to each other. Noticing their whispers, he leaned in closer to try and get me to blink but I did the same having the distance between our lips only centimeters apart. The song in the background tuned in to my mind more as if this were a scene from a movie. In hopes to have him forget what game we were playing, I started to softly sing the lyrics to him. He smiled and joined in so we started singing together. As our eyes started to get strained, forming tears, we both gave in to the moment and kissed each other. Our friends cheered and laughed as Jessica’s plan worked.

            As we sat there for the rest of the hour, I watched as you spoke so intently to everyone around you, every now and then catching a glimpse of the sparkle in your eyes. You held my hand and your thumb slowly caressed my fingers. My heart felt warm, I had butterflies fluttering around my stomach, I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your voice. With all these feelings so new and foreign, I couldn’t help still being shy around you. I hope you know and feel the love I have for you.

            Jenny and Adam were cuddling close to each other, Tyler and I were sitting next to each other as if we were young kids on our first real date, Jessica and Laura were singing along to the radio and waving their drinks around like they were at a concert. I giggled at the sight of everyone having so much fun. I joined in with Jessica and Laura and we were belting the lyrics at the top of our lungs.

            The guys looked over at us and wanted to join in. Adam stood up to start playing music from his phone, Laura and Jessica decided to start making some snacks, Jenny stood up and started to dance with Adam and that left Tyler and I sitting on the floor by ourselves. He stood up and leaned over in front of me extending his hand, “Would you like to dance with me?”

            “I’d love too.” I responded happily. I grabbed his hand and rested my head on his chest. We all danced for two songs until Laura came back in with pre-made jalapeño poppers, queso dip, and a chocolate cake with three candles. My stomach growled at the sight. Tyler looked down at me smiling with a raised eyebrow.

            “Shut up, let’s go eat.” I laughed pushing his arm.

            “Laura, my God you will make someone so happy with your cooking.” Adam said. Everyone hummed in agreement as we were all stuffing our faces.

            “Aww, thanks guys haha but I think you all would’ve enjoyed anything at this rate. Slow down!” She teased.

            After snacking on the jalapeño poppers and dip, we all sang happy birthday to Tyler. He blushed as he didn’t like this part of birthday parties, but couldn’t contain his smile. We all finished singing except Laura who decided to keep going and Tyler blew out the candles.

            “Let’s eat some cake!” exclaimed Jenny.

            We all finished our slices so I stood up and helped wash dishes with Jenny as the others sat back half asleep.

            “So Tyler, are you driving Natalie home tonight?” Adam winked. Everyone sat in suspense. He looked over at me and smiled.

            “If she’d like me to, yes.” He said with a half smile. I blushed immediately and nodded.

            “Alright! Well, Laura you’re coming home with me to continue this party.” Jessica said.

            We all said our goodbyes, gave a long hug and started talking about the next time we would all get together again. Tyler wrapped my coat around my shoulders, gave them a gentle squeeze and we walked out to his car. He opened the car door for me, I thanked him and got inside. As he was walking around to the drivers side, I couldn’t help but stare. A simple thing like walking he made look so cool. He got inside, started the engine and looked over at me.

            “What would you like to do? I can take you home if you’re tired.” He asked.

            “Do you want to go for a drive?” I asked biting my lip. He grinned.

            “Sure, let’s go.” He said.

            We drove around the town, looking at the city lights and observing the people that were still out partying this Saturday evening. Bars were blasting loud music, women were tripping in their high heels, and men were talking loudly to each other to try to beat the sound of the environment around them and the fact that they were so wasted, they probably didn’t notice their volume. I felt so conformable around him and I feel like he is around me too. I looked over at him, the street lights illuminating his features every minute. I want to tell him how I feel, I want to lay my head on his shoulder as he continues to drive, I don’t want to lose him again but for some reason, everything inside of me was telling me not to admit my feelings.

            We drove around the town and I suggested that maybe it was time we go home. He agreed with a yawn, turned the car around and started driving towards my house. We were silent for a while with just the sound of the car filling our ears. He started humming his own tune and my heart fluttered again. I looked out the window and wondered why I couldn’t be more vocal. Cursing at myself, I decided if I don’t tell him tonight, I might never get the chance again. As I was about to speak up, he started a new conversation.

            “Hey, do you remember Rachel?” He asked, eyes focused on the road.

            “Oh wow, yeah I haven’t seen her in forever. Is she in town?” I asked.

            “Yeah, she actually just moved back last week. We started talking again and I’m going to take her to dinner on Wednesday.” He said hesitantly.

            My heart sunk. I looked over at him, eyes wide as a doe. I quickly felt my expression and changed to be excited for him. They had a short relationship when they were younger but I never thought they still cared for one another. I wanted to get out of the car then and there. Luckily, he was already pulling up to my street.

            “I’m so happy for you…” I said.

            “Thank you. I wanted to tell you especially after our kiss tonight. I’m sorry if that was misleading.” He apologized. My gut was turning.

            “No no, don’t apologize! We all had a couple drinks and were just playing a game.” I responded so reassuringly I convinced myself for a moment that I was fine. His car slowed down in the front of my walkway and I grabbed my purse from the back seat.

            “Happy birthday, Tyler. It was nice to see you again.” I said giving him a short hug. I let go, waved and closed his door. He started to drive away once I unlocked my front door. I shut my eyes tightly, let out a long exhale and closed the door behind me. Stupid, stupid, why would I think I had another shot. I threw my keys on the side table near my door and walked to bed.

~

            “Natalie!” Jessica exclaimed. We ran towards each other. It’s been 6 months since we all last saw each other in one setting. We all had travel plans that interfered with our game nights so we met up individually whenever we could.

            “How are you doing?” She asked. I just looked at her. She gave me a shy smile.

            “I decided I’m going to move to New York.” I said. She stood there for a moment shocked.

            “You’re leaving? I mean I’m happy for you but when?!” She said shocked.

            “I’m leaving at the end of the year so I have a few months to get my things together and finish what I need to.” I said.

            “Well, I support your decision but if you don’t come back here and visit us, you’re gonna get it.” She said furrowing her eyebrows.

            “Well you better come visit me! The house I’m looking at buying is next to this beautiful little park and it’s walking distance to all these little shops so we could have a full day of shopping.” I laughed.

            “That’s what I like to hear! Let’s go inside.” We continued talking until we met up with the others. Everyone else was gathered around to get ready for the wedding.

            “Hey, city girl!” Laura exclaimed.

            “What?! How did she know before I did?” Jessica asked pouting.

            “We talked on the phone last week, haha I’m sorry I meant to tell you all when we were here together.” I confessed.

            “Well, we’re all happy for you and that gives us an excuse to travel to the big apple every now and then. Have you told Tyler?” Adam asked.

            “No, today isn’t the right day.” I said.

            “We’ve heard that before.” Jenny said. I looked at her not knowing what to respond but smiled.

            “I know, but this time really isn’t right.” I said. Everyone nodded slightly.

            “Where’s Rachel?” I asked changing the subject.

            “She’s upstairs with the photographer. They’re doing a quick photoshoot to have the moments captured before and after the wedding. She looks so beautiful!” Laura said.

            The wedding planner came into the room and announced for everyone to start taking their seats. Adam gave Jenny a kiss on her cheek as he walked to the back of the room with the other groomsmen and we all took our seats in the courtyard. There were white and blue peonies along the walkway and a path of small white petals. The alter was round made of gold metal with a copy of the brides bouquet tied at the top left corner. It was simplistic yet breathtaking. Everything was beautiful and perfect, just as they deserved. This was going to be a wedding no one would forget.

            The music started to play and the bridesmaids and groomsmen started to walk towards the alter. Each person looked amazing. The bridesmaids were in loose fit, flowing blue dresses. The groomsmen in black suits with a blue striped tie. Finally, we all rose and Rachel started to walk out with her father. As much as I hated to admit, she really did look beautiful. I glanced over at Tyler and his eyes were watering at the site of his bride. Laura and Jenny were already crying while Jessica was trying her best to hold it all in. I couldn’t help but let a few tears roll down my cheek too. She’s perfect for him and the sheer happiness that spread across their faces when they saw each other was like they just fell in love all over again.

            We all sat down and the ceremony began. The vows you both wrote for one another were unique and had everyone choking on the lumps in their throats. You never took your eyes off her and she never took her eyes off of you. You kissed your bride, people stood up, threw rice and both your eyes were sparkling as the feeling settled in that you were about to start living again. We all exclaimed and clapped as you walked down the aisle walking to the car that was awaiting you both.

            I wish I could go back and tell you the things I was too afraid to say back then. I wish your eyes could tell, but I was so unsure if you loved me too. I wish I could stop feeling what I do for you. It’s strange having to stand in the side lines as my heart aches but just know my heart is also filled with joy as you grow in this life with your newfound love. I will be here for you and I will help in whatever you ask, but there’s only so much I can do while you’re holding another woman’s hand. As K. Towne Jr. once wrote, “Our lives may not have fit together, but oh do our souls know how to dance.”

Homesick

A Reflection

I was massaging the palm of my hand as I waited for the nurse to call my name. Time seemed to be going by so fast that I didn’t have the time to fully gather how I felt. It was like I was prepared and unprepared at the same time. When the nurse came to get me, I walked through the hospital halls with joy, confidence, and anxiety. They took my vitals, gave me my wristband and gown and kindly talked me through the hours of waiting before surgery. A different nurse came into the room and I heard my name being mentioned. It was time. The new nurse came by and drove my bed through the hallways. I was introduced to the anesthesia specialist and the surgeon came by to speak with me, see how I was feeling, and let me know that we were going to get started. I heard the monitor beside me make a quick beeping noise. My heart rate was accelerating with the nerves. I was so happy to finally be there getting one step closer to living a pain free life but the fact that I was going to be under for four hours was the most terrifying part. Three nurses came in and started prepping things around me. One came up and said, “You know, I always say to think about your dream island and where you would love to be. Some dream of being in Hawaii on a relaxing vacation. What’s your dream island like?”

            “Well, I miss my dogs so I guess I just want to be with them.” I responded shyly. They all loved the fact that I brought up my dogs so we started talking about them for a minute.

            The nurse said, “Alright, here comes a margarita!” and I was asleep.

            I woke up, my eyelids slowly opening and adjusting to the lighting in the room. I heard murmurs that I was awake and going to be moved to my room where my parents were waiting. I quickly realized I couldn’t open my mouth as the bands were holding it shut. It was a weird feeling. I was brought into my room and my parents came to the bedside. The surgeon informed them everything went really well. I had to walk the hallway every hour and log the protein drinks I had while there. For the first few times we walked, I needed help out of bed, needed to hold the rolling monitor and hold onto the hands of either my parents or our assigned nurse. I felt like I was a toddler learning how to walk again. I was moving slow and my legs were struggling to move far ahead of me. Once back to the room, I needed assistance getting back into bed. This lasted for a few hours but later in the night I was moving without assistance. My face and neck were bandaged from the incisions they made and the sides of my head were sore. I still had the drainage tubes under my ears. Those would be removed tomorrow morning.

            It was morning and I still felt tired. The nurse came in and started removing all the needles in my arm and pulled out the tubes from under my ears. That hurt quite a bit. They helped me into a wheelchair and pushed me out to our car where we would drive to our first post-op appointment. The remaining week consisted of daily appointments, chiropractor visits, taking medication almost every hour of the day, crying from depression, walking around the hotel or around the city and trying to get enough protein in my body. Around 4pm every day I started to feel super nauseous that I would need to take nausea medication to keep me from throwing up. There was one night that I did end up vomiting and well, to put it into perspective I had the splint banded in my mouth at all hours of the day so I started choking and swallowing my own puke. That was fun. Then around 9pm every night, I started to get super tired. It was difficult keeping my eyes open and I felt like I could just pass out then and there. However, I had to stay awake for one more pill at 10pm. There was one medication I had to stop taking immediately. I felt as if my heart rate dropped dramatically and was truly afraid that I was going to die. After stopping that pill, I was back to my regular drowsiness.

            At my last appointment, all my incisions were healing well and I was off most of the medications. Luckily, the ones I was able to stop taking were the ones making me feel sick. Today, I’m doing great with my jaw exercises, healing is still going well and I’m doing well with the liquid diet. I have lost weight, which is expected, so my appearance has changed slightly. I’m happy and extremely thankful for the staff that helped me but I’m also very happy to be back home in Santa Fe. Here’s to the next 9 months of recovery.

The House

A Short Story

Running around, clothes being thrown from room to room, food flying in the kitchen and endless screaming of who needs to do what before leaving the house. It’s our last day before we start our move to Granville, Ohio. My wife and I are running around to make sure everything is ready. My son, Kai, is taking cards he made to hand out to his classmates and my wife baked a cake for my co-workers.

            I’m a writer for our local newspaper… or what used to be our local newspaper and on my days off I would occasionally read to expand my knowledge on what’s going on around us locally. I wear glasses, always wear a suit, have more wrinkles than any 35 year old should and I have so much hair I could probably make two wigs. My wife is stunning. She has small features and big blue eyes like a cute doe. She has long blonde hair which she always ties up in a bun, her voice is angelic and her skin is porcelain white. Her name is Alicia. She is a stay at home mother who cares for our son who has been suffering with severe anxiety and depression. He has dark blonde hair, golden brown eyes, and fair skin like his mother. He’s one of the brightest ten year old’s I’ve ever met.

            Alicia is very excited to show her friends pictures of our new home. We purchased the house cheap because it had been on the market for a while. It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, an office, and the downstairs is enormous. We visited the house before and it does need some work, but we both agreed that it will be great for our family. Kai hasn't seen the house yet because he wants it to be a surprise.

            The house is basically a cabin made from old pine and elm. There’s a little walkway from the gravel driveway to the porch of the house. Once you walk in, you’re in the living room and straight to the back is the kitchen. It’s an open floor plan so everything was spacious giving us lots of ideas on how to re-decorate. Up the stairs leads you to the two bedrooms and the one bathroom. The rooms were modernized and detailed with beautiful artwork carved into the wood. The bathroom was fairly small but perfect for the three of us.

            While at work, I had some free time so I decided to look up the property of the house. I pulled up the listing of the real estate agents who tried selling the house before our agent, Laura. It showed that they all decided to opt out of selling the house after only a couple of months. I dug deeper and it showed the original owners of the house dated back to 1940. The Wilson’s, who apparently vanished soon after purchasing the house were a newlywed couple who built the house on this land which at the time was Mr. Wilson’s fathers. No articles say if they were found so the family, as well as the house, became sort of a legend here. The father of the family was John Wilson. He was unemployed after being fired from several jobs, sent to prison twice for abuse and on house arrest for beating his family. The wife, Margaret Wilson, was a nanny who babysat for three other families though she was fired once the children showed bruises. Margaret disappeared weeks after being fired along with the children she looked after. The son, who was only an infant, died from abuse. The father remained free and moved away where he became lost to the world.

            6:30 pm and it’s time to head back home and share with my wife what I read on the house history. I pulled up to the driveway and walked inside.

            “Hey, how was work?” she said cheerfully.

            “It was a weird day. How was yours?” I responded as I kissed her cheek.

            “It was nice. Kai is learning some advanced math and his school said he could be homeschooled using the program installed on his Chromebook until the new school year starts.”

            “Did he need the pills today?”

            “Yes. He’s suddenly really anxious about this move.”

            “How is he doing now?”

            “He’s okay. He’s in the back playing with his Nintendo.”

I hung up my jacket and put away my briefcase so everything was where it needed to be by morning. We sat at the table and ate some of the macaroni salad my wife made for dinner. After eating, I went to the back and checked on Kai. 

            “How’s it going out here?”

            “Good. Do you get to keep your job when we move?”

            “No, I’ll have a different job. Do you and mom have all your things packed?”

            “Yeah, we finished packing this afternoon.”

            “Why don’t you come inside, let's watch a movie together.”

            We all gathered in the living room and we picked our family favorite, Harry Potter. I put the movie in and we all sat together on the couch.

            The next morning, we gathered all that we needed and left behind the belongings we thought were unnecessary to bring along to the new house. My cousin was going to stop by later to take our stuff to Goodwill. We arrived at the airport and started our flight from Los Angeles, California to Granville, Ohio, our new home.

            My wife handed me a stack of papers telling me she looked up some information about the house. I looked over the papers and she printed the same documents I viewed at work yesterday. I completely forgot to mention it to her. There are some new ones that I didn't read yet. All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

            The owners who purchased the house after the Wilson’s had added some extra rooms to make the house a daycare for extra cash. The plan failed because of the previous history where they later found some of the missing children hidden in the floorboards.

            It immediately became silent on the plane and I heard a faint whisper, “Stop…” I ignored it and kept going. The Anderson’s stayed in the house for about four years and couldn't take it anymore. The wife wrote a book about the events in the house from her point of view. After these owners mysteriously passed away, it wasn't put on the market for another two years then finally became available but no one was successful in selling the house until now. Prices had declined dramatically to desperately gain some interest. My wife found another recent article talking about some damage to the house. I put the papers down and pointed to the article.

            “Why didn't Laura call us?” I asked frustrated.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Look, the house is a mess now. She should've called before we flew miles away from our home to live in a pile of wood.”

            “Calm down, I’m sure it’s just advertised poorly. If anything, she fixed the problem and had no reason to call us. Relax, we’re almost there.” she laid her head back and drifted off to sleep.

            We pulled up to the drive way of our new house and it surprisingly looks worse than in the article. Our real estate agent, Laura, met us there.

            “Hey Laura, what happened to the house? It looks like a tornado blew through!”

            “Well, it took some damage as there were a few kids who started to rummage through  but it’s still as good as new. Just a few minor repairs will be necessary.” she mumbled.

            “Let’s go look inside.” my wife told Kai.

            They both gathered inside and Laura started to glow. She walked as fast as she could to her car before any of us could change our mind about staying. I stood in the driveway for a while and just took in the view. Maybe Laura is right, a few repairs and it will be fine. I joined Alicia and Kai inside. They stood at the doorway smiling up at the staircase.

            “What do you guys think?” I asked.

They jumped up, froze in their steps, and got wide eyed. My wife grabbed my son and held him tight. I turned around and no one was there.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked as I felt them shiver.

            “You just went upstairs with our bags.” Alicia said frightened.

            I froze and looked at the stairs. Our bags were gone, and they looked at me as if I were a ghost. I told them to wait as I checked upstairs. I pulled out the knife in my back pocket and slowly walked up. I checked mine and my wife’s room, but no one was there. I glanced around and saw our bags were neatly placed on the bed. I checked my son’s room and no one was there. I walked to the office and felt a cool breeze as I walked up to the door. It was locked. I pulled out the key from my pocket and it didn't fit. Why would Laura forget to give me another key to the house? I walked back downstairs and told them it was going to be alright, no one is here but us.

            We all walked upstairs to our rooms and started to unpack. I couldn't stop thinking about the locked room. The horrifying thought occurred to me that it may be a room where the children were tortured by the Wilson’s. Everything stopped, I heard the whisper again, “Leave now…” I shrugged it off and brought the office supplies up to our room for the time being. My wife watched me as if she was knew something was wrong.

            It was late and we finally finished unpacking all of our suitcases. We had a late night snack in the kitchen sitting on the barstools. Laura had most of the house furnished with some of our furniture we shipped before arriving. There was enough groceries to last us a couple days so we had time to get used to the town and get groceries of our own. It was now midnight so we said our goodnights and fell asleep though I laid there wondering how I was going to open that locked door…and who keeps warning me about the house.

            It was morning and my wife was gone from bed. I walked around the house and she was gone. I went in Kai’s room and he was still sound asleep. I closed the door softly and went back downstairs. She must have gone into town. I looked in my drawer, pulled out my wallet and sure thing, my credit card was gone. I grabbed an old book from the living room and decided to read a bit till she returned. Halfway into the book, I was noticing some familiar passages. I turned to the back of the book and noticed it was Mrs. Anderson’s book.

“Stop…leave now…” This time it was more than one person. I continued to read.

            There was a loud rumbling noise and I realized that a car was pulling up the driveway. I sat up and greeted my wife at the door. She walked up with some groceries in her hands then out from behind her I hear Kai yell, “These bags are too heavy, mom!”

            I stopped in my tracks and ran upstairs to Kai’s room. He wasn't in his bed anymore. His bed was made neatly and there was no sign that he ran down to meet Alicia without me noticing. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked back downstairs.

            “Did Kai leave with you this morning?” I asked.

            “Yes, he did. Why do you ask?”

            “No reason. Just didn't hear you both leave.”

            “Well, he took a pill this morning to stay calm. He was pretty quiet because he didn't sleep very well. He’s not used to the new room.” she said hesitantly. We continued putting away groceries.

            My wife decided to cook penne with a sun dried tomato sauce. I baked some cookies with Kai for dessert. He got a little distracted halfway through so I played some music.

            “You doing okay?” I asked.

            “Yeah, I’m feeling funny again.” He said sleepily.

            “Do you need your medicine?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay, let’s go. Did you take one this morning?” I asked.

            He didn't respond.

            “Kai, did you take a pill this morning?” I asked again.

            “No.” he lied.

            I walked him up the stairs and to his room. I handed half a pill to him and walked out so he had his privacy taking it. He didn't like for me or my wife to watch him. I heard rumbling noises and faint whispers coming from the locked door. I jumped when my son opened the door from behind me. We walked downstairs to finish cooking dinner.

            It was time for bed and we all did our same old routine. My wife took off her makeup, brushed out her thick, blonde hair, and brushed her teeth. I changed into my pj’s, checked on my wife then headed to Kai’s room to tuck him in. When I walked in, he had already tucked himself in but then I noticed his voice whispering to me. I got closer and sat by him. He turned to me and asked, “Check for monsters under the bed, daddy.” I chuckled, went on the floor and there he was, another him, quivering and whispering to me, “There’s someone on my bed…” I froze, looked up and my son or what looked like my son was laying in bed looking at me confused. I looked back under the bed and grabbed my son’s hand. I told him to run to our room and lock the door, so he started to run. I yanked the covers off the bed and the child laying there now had rope tied around his ankles very tightly and pajama bottoms that were ripped to shreds. The child turned to look at me and his eyes were black.

            “I told you to stop!” The kid jumped from the bed and went right through me. The push was so strong it struck me to the floor. I turned around and saw the child run into the locked room. I got up and ran towards that door.

            My wife cracked open our bedroom door and asked, “Michael, what’s wrong? Kai is pale. He's scared.”

            “Get back in the room and lock the door!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t comprehend what I just saw.

            “Tell me what’s happening!” she pleaded.

            “Get back in the room!” She shut the door and I heard the lock seconds after.

            I slammed on the locked door yelling for the child to open it, but nothing happened. I ran into the door breaking it down and there they were, whispering, “We told you to leave the house, Michael.”

            I dropped to my knees and tears started streaming down my face. There were skeletons of children no older than Kai. Then, I saw him. The child who looked like my son. He was the oldest and laid there with more of his skin remaining than others. I shut my eyes tightly for all I saw was the image of my son. Shots of terror ran through my spine when I heard a blood curdling scream… Alicia. I shot up and saw her standing at the doorway covering my son’s eyes. I ran up to them and pushed them out of the room slamming the door shut behind us. We all stayed there for what seemed like hours crying, shaking, and holding each other close trying to erase the image we just saw.

            Early the next morning Laura came back to the house and unlocked the door that I thought I broke down last night. There was nothing there but a few cobwebs and dust bunnies. I stood there in a daze explaining to her what we saw last night. She calmly responded that all the previous articles were made up and was just a horrific way to keep others from moving in. My wife and I packed our belongings, grabbed Kai’s hand and left. No signs of us living there were posted as we were the shortest to stay. We fell under the houses illusion and became a part of it. Laura walked to the living room, grabbed the book written by Mrs. Anderson, and walked out the door with it. The house was later torn down since not a single soul would bother being in that house longer than 24 hours. Once the house was removed, the souls of all who were trapped inside were now at peace. There was nothing holding them to this Earth anymore. Alicia decided to work with me when we moved back to our home in California and published a new best seller called, “The House.”

The Moon and the Stars

A Short Story

It was 1:30 in the afternoon, the rain was pouring and I was the only one on the lake. Today feels as empty as my heart. I let out a long sigh and sat down for a while, letting my toes just lightly touch where the water met the gravel. The rain was soaking in each grain of dirt, sliding off each rock, and rolling from my head to my toes as if it were trying to cover me from the pain I was feeling. You’ve only been gone for two months, but it feels like a lifetime.

            I gripped the necklace you gave me as I walked to a bar down the street. The necklace has a crescent moon with a star in the middle. Until you come home, my world will not shine as bright. I ordered a beer and inhaled the smell of cigars and cheap cologne. There were groups gathered around the pool tables placing their bets. Each game became predictable once their attitudes went from “Yeah, let’s play!” to “I’m a God at this game!” As I was observing the matches, a young guy approached me. He asked for my name and we stayed casually talking for about 30 minutes. He seemed nice until he asked for my number. I politely declined and he lost it. He started cursing at me and throwing nearby shot glasses at the wall. Security rushed over and hauled him out of the bar. I finished my beer and left. The night breeze wrapped around my skin and comforted me on the walk home. I stopped and began to cry. I looked up at the moon and stars wondering if you were too.

            13 months passed and I was starting to get used to your side of the bed feeling so cold. You’re supposed to be home this week so I started cleaning the house and making it feel as if you never left. I started cooking a roast to have for dinner. I don’t know how I’ll react even though I’ve imagined this every day since you’ve been gone. I won’t ask you how the war was, I won’t ask you what you did, I’ll just hold you close and hope that’s enough. After cleaning for a few hours, I decided to go out to the supermarket to grab a bottle of wine. I browsed the aisles looking for the perfect bitter red wine. I picked up a bottle and started reading the description on the side. I glanced up and there you were. I felt my grip loosen around the bottle and I covered my mouth to muffle my cry.

            I slowly walked up to you and tapped your shoulder. You looked at me expressionless. My heart began to sink.

            “Hi.” I muttered with a broken tone of voice.

            “Um, hello.” he said.

            “Do you not remember me?” I asked. He stared at me for a minute puzzled and shook his head.

            “Are you okay?” he asked nervously. I felt like I was going to faint.

            “Would you believe me if I told you I was your fiancée?” His expression changed as if something in his mind just clicked.

            “I…I think I remember you now.” he said. My eyes lit up with hope. “There’s something about you that feels familiar.”

            “Would you like to have dinner with me?” I asked.

            “No, I uh… I have to go home.” He said.

            “But you… we live together. Do you think seeing our house would trigger your memory? You started to recognize me just now so maybe this will help.” I asked nervously.

            “I didn’t forget everything. I remember certain life events, birthdays, my family. I just can’t remember you.” He said bitterly.

            “What if we go home and if it’s too much, you can leave.” He cautiously agreed.

            We pulled up to the driveway of our house and parked our cars. I walked him inside and stepped away to let him wander the house himself. He took in every detail as if he was really trying to register where he was. He looked at our photos on the wall and noticed an engagement photoshoot. He stepped back, massaging his finger where his ring used to sit and started walking back towards the door.

            “Wait, please…” I begged.

            “You said I could leave if this became too much and it is.” He said as he walked out the door. His engine started outside and the sound of his car driving off became faint. I slid down the wall and cried.

            The next morning, I woke up with all my makeup on and in the same clothes from the day before. I don’t remember walking to my bed but I must’ve gotten off the floor at some point. I started a pot of coffee and took a shower. After rinsing off, I still looked awful. I changed into a t-shirt and some jeans, poured a cup of coffee, and walked out to the lake. There were a lot of people out today. I chose a spot near the water on one of the benches. I sighed, looked at my wedding ring, and threw it into the sand as far as I could. I took a long sip of coffee and as I put my cup down, someone was approaching me. I looked up and it was him. He was holding the ring I threw and sat down in front of me.

            “I remember now, I’m sorry.” He said with a polaroid in his hand.

            I reached out for the picture and it was him at the military base looking up at the moon and the stars.

The Magician

A Short Story

I pulled out $5 from my pocket and handed it to the cashier. I glanced around the tea shop for an empty table, but every seat was taken. I walked outside and made my way towards the park. I chose an empty table and sat in solitude. The air was warm and uncomfortable, sweat was forming on my hairline, and my mouth felt dry as a desert. Next time I’ll just get a water.

            I pulled out my deck of cards and shuffled them. These cards weren’t like an ordinary deck, these were custom made by me. These cards are a deep burgundy, the patterns are made from stars, the suits are only Spades and Hearts unlike the usual deck of cards with Clubs, Spades, Hearts, and Diamonds. As a kid, I picked up on games like Poker, Blackjack, and Rummy faster than most adults. So, I decided to make my own game to keep things interesting. This isn’t something I could bring up in a group. It’s more of a one-on-one situation. The fate of the game lies in the card you choose.

            The cards flicked across each of my fingers as I continued to shuffle them. My fingertips almost felt numb after a while. A small breeze blew through the park causing one of my cards to fly out of the deck. Someone wants to play a game. A young woman walked over with the fallen card in hand and held it out for me to grab. The 2 of Hearts. I looked up from the table and thanked her. She sat down next to me and asked if I was practicing card tricks. I told her I was just shuffling the cards and enjoying my time outside. She didn’t like that answer.

            “Will you show me a trick?” She asked.

            “I already did.” I said in a neutral tone. She looked at me confused.

            “You returned the 2 of Hearts. Your fate today is this very moment. So, would you like to play a game?” I asked. She nodded her head excited. I stopped shuffling the cards and spread them out in a circle for her to choose from. I looked up at her, “Choose a card, but think about it first. Feel what card connects to you.” I said.

            “How will I know that?” She asked hesitantly.

            “The stars will move.” I muttered. She glanced at the deck for a minute, really studying the patterns on each card and finally hovered her hand over one. She pulled the card from the deck and revealed a 7 of Hearts. As opposed to the 7 deadly sins, this pattern resembled their corresponding virtues and she choose the virtue patience… this was obvious.

            “So, did you predict I was going to pick this card?” She teased.

            “No, I never know which card will be picked, but it’s always been true. Your card means you carry the virtue of humility and the sin of pride. You being here shows that you wanted to come see me not because you saw my card fly away, but because you saw I needed something. I’m envious of those around me with normal lives while all I have are these cards. That’s my sin, envy but the virtue I carry is kindness so, thank you.” I responded. She blankly stared at me for a moment then smiled.

            She leaned in and whispered, “I came here because I thought you were handsome.” She took the 2 of Hearts and wrote her number on it with black pen and walked away. How curious.

                                                                                    ~

            I picked up the last box and placed it in our living room. I looked over at her and she was moving around so happily, unboxing our things. I’ve always considered myself an independent individual, until I met her. Who would’ve guessed I would fall in love with a girl who just wanted to see me do a card trick. I started to practice a lot more to impress her with something more than making a card appear out of thin air. I wanted to do something big like change the world… all because of you.

            Anything she thinks of, anything I think of I can make appear. I’ve tapped into my third eye making anything possible, pushing the limits. She started looking around at all the boxes and I couldn’t help but smile. I closed my eyes slowly and asked, “Do you want to see a trick?” She nodded excitedly. I raised my hand and snapped a card into my hand. I opened my eyes and flicked it across the room. As it spun around, all of the boxes opened and everything was unwrapped, ready to be pulled out and placed into their new spots. She stood in shock and honestly, I did too for a moment. This was becoming more than just being able to perform a few tricks. My curse is finally paying off.

            We were setting up dinner and she placed some candles across the table. I hovered my hand over each wick lighting each candle one by one. The table looked too plain. I lightly banged on the table and these beautiful placemats appeared. I wanted flowers for her so I rotated my wrist and created a small bouquet to put below the candles. Everything was perfect. We sat down, talked about the future, the past, and the present.

            “Do you remember the first trick you showed me?” she asked.

            “Yes, the most unpredictable one of all. I still don’t understand it, but it’s the best trick I’ve ever done.”

            “Did you reach out to the International Magicians Society? I think they would recruit you quickly considering how much you’ve developed.” she said. Little does she know I’ve had this type of power for a long time but never felt the desire to use it.

            “I was accepted but I couldn’t take you where they wanted me to go so I threw it away.” She sat there for a moment. She looked upset but I’m not leaving without her.

                                                                                    ~

            There were a couple of bangs and scratches coming from downstairs. I opened my eyes looking over to where she would be laying but the sheets were thrown aside. I jumped up out of bed and started running downstairs, calling out to her. No response. I was going to run outside to the car, but I felt this heat rush through my body. I stood still and relaxed my mind…tell me where to go. I turned around and this light was coming straight at me. I dodged out of the way. I knelt down by our coffee table and flicked my wrist in the direction of the light which casted this bright blue aura, striking someone in the kitchen. I rushed over and saw her on the floor unresponsive. Another person, a tall lanky man was twitching from being struck by my magic. I moved closer to her, picked her up and carried her over to the sofa. I sent a shock through her chest to restart her heart. One, two, three… again. One, two, three…again. She started breathing. I laid a blanket over her and walked back to the kitchen. The man was gone but a piece of old, crumpled paper was left behind.

            13 Hickox Lane was all that was eligible from the old page. There was a fading image of two people but it started to disappear before I could make out any features.  I rushed over to where she was laying, closed my eyes and hovered my hands above her chest. A thick, layered barrier was glided around her body to protect her. I leaned down, kissed her forehead, and whispered in her ear, “Wait for me.”

            I got in a cab and asked the driver to take me to 7 Hickox Lane. I didn’t want to be dropped off directly in front of the location so a few houses down should be safe. The driver sped off. My heart rate was going fast and slow all at once. What were these people doing in my house, why and what did she have to do with any of it? I took a deep breath and focused my aura. I started channeling all of my energy into my hands. I left a small amount of my energy in my body as a protection shield, similar to what I did for her, but mine was slightly less effective. I pulled out my deck of cards, started shuffling the deck, and noticed the stars race along the deck. My shuffling got faster and soon a small flicker of flame came off the deck right at the end. I hovered my hand across the deck and a Joker slid out. Time to play a game.

            I walked down the sidewalk with my cards in my breast pocket. My aura changed from bright blue to the color of a glass of dark red merlot. As I walked past house after house, I got to the end of the street and never noticed number 13. I walked back and stood where house number 13 should be. I stood still to focus all my energy and there, a blurry vision of house number 13 appeared right where it should be in the real world. I walked up to the door and before I had a chance to reach for the handle, I felt this energy push me inside.

            I stood back up and my hands and knees were bruised from the fall. It was as if I had fallen down from a high distance rather than tripping through the doorway. Luckily, the protection spell helped me not break a bone. The air was thick and the room was filled with a light fog. There was no furniture, only a few chandeliers dimly lighting certain areas of the house. I channeled my aura into hands again and felt frustrated. There it was. The bright light was there but this time it was just floating ahead of me, not moving. I slowly approached it and it was moving further and further back. I picked up my speed and soon had to start running to keep up with it. This wasn’t a house at all. For the length we ran, I should’ve hit a wall by now. It stopped abruptly as the light was right in front of my face now. It slowly got brighter and brighter. I placed my hand across my eyes to shield my vision and when I removed my hand, there was a different man in front of me. His eyes were a shimmering gray, his skin was tan, and his black hair was tied back in a low ponytail. His smirked as my eyes met with his.

            “You weren’t supposed to be there.” He said in his grungy voice. “You know, when you receive an invitation, it’s meant to be accepted. You, oddly enough, threw it away. Now why is that?” His aura was intimidating.

            “I don’t see how any of this is your business.” I responded.

            “Well, I’m the creator of the Society. Is the woman why you declined?” He said smiling devilishly. I didn’t respond. “I knew it.” He charged his aura and sent a blast at me that shot me nearly 10 feet away from him. My breath was shot out of my lungs and I was struggling to stand back up. I winced and charged all my saved energy into a bolt that pierced through his arm. He laughed and rolled his head around his shoulders. He stomped on the ground making the floor move like waves. I stood up and started running his direction. Using the wave, I jumped and clenched my fist striking him where his heart is. He fell to the ground and went pale. I took advantage of the situation, pulled out my deck of cards and flicked my wrist to shoot cards across his clothing to pin him to the ground. I shot out another joker from the deck along with an 8 of Spades. I merged the cards together and flicked them up in the air causing 8 large spears to rain down around us. I shut my eyes tightly, focusing on everything around me then suddenly, nothing. I opened my eyes… I was outside. The house was gone and I was crouched on the lawn of house number 12. My shirt was torn from being caught by the sides of  the spears and the blast I took that shot me across the floor. I stood up slowly and sighed. Before heading home, there is one stop I have to make.

~

            I opened the door to find her still asleep on the couch. I sat on the floor beside her and moved her bangs from her face. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled.

            “I’m sorry…” she placed her hand across my mouth stopping me mid-sentence. She leaned up and kissed me.

            “No more magic…” she whimpered. I shook my head in agreement. The thing that has kept me going for years has now brought me the greatest pain in my life. I grabbed the cards from my breast pocket and walked over to the fireplace. I threw them in and stared at them one last time. The stars were moving viscously and slowly rose off the cards. I struck a match, threw it in and watched as the flames danced with the stars and the deep burgundy bleed off into nothing. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to my side and smiled.

            “For my final trick…” I started.

            “No no, no more magic.” She said with a look of concern on her face. I held out a ring and she stood still, tears forming in her eyes. She jumped into my arms and we both held each other close as if this were our last day. I closed my eyes, released my magic aura, and felt…happy.

No One Is Alone

A Short Story

The fireplace was crackling and the light of the flames casted shadows throughout the living room. The winter frost covered the windows in an intricate pattern as if it were a spider’s web and the pot of water started to boil ready to become the most perfect cup of hot cocoa. I walked over to the phone, awaiting the phone call from my grandchildren. I remember the excitement of Christmas morning, longing to open that first present and seeing the empty plate where Santa’s cookies had been the night before. There was no other excitement that could compare in the eyes of a child. The phone started to ring, I answered.

“Hello?”

“Grandma!” three little voices exclaimed through the phone.

One after the other started telling me about what they thought they would be getting and what kind of cookies they were leaving for old Saint Nick. My daughter and son-in-law were in the background telling them to stop screaming and to speak one at a time. I couldn’t help but laugh at the chaos through the phone. Although my house may feel small and my husband is not here with me today, I am never alone. No matter your age, the size of your family, or how many friends you have, truly no one is ever alone. We are all just a phone call away. Happy Holidays.

The Sale of a Lifetime

A Short Story

            My eyes were starting to feel heavy and the sun was going down so the drive was seeming like it was going to last a lifetime. The house I’m going to is about 45 minutes away from where I live but if I wanted to do well, I needed to make all my sales today. I turned onto this dirt path where a small house appeared in the distance. It seemed to be the only house in the area. There was a large lot of land filled with willow trees, a small pond, a broken picket fence, and some stray cats. I slowly pulled up to the dead grass which seemed to be the drive way. There were tire tracks that seemed fresh in the grass so I’m hoping I didn’t come at a time when the owners weren’t home. I got out of my car, pulled out my papers and the vacuum our company was selling. I approached the front door and knocked twice. No one answered for a while and it seemed awfully quiet. I pulled out the map from my back pocket and double checked the address. I was definitely at the right home. I knocked again a little louder this time. Someone exclaimed from inside the house, “I’m coming!” I straightened my tie and stood up straight.

            A beautiful young woman opened the door only half revealing her appearance. The screen door muted her features but the light shining through made her glow.

            “Hi, my name is Jeffrey Thomas and I’m with Kirby Vacuums. Do you have a moment so I may showcase our latest model?” I asked. She stood there for a moment and then unlocked the screen door to let me in. I bowed my head and went inside. As I started setting up, she walked over to the sofa and sat down, staring blankly at everything I was doing. She was wearing blue jeans, a white top, and white sneakers. Her skin was like porcelain. She’s short, thin, with beautiful long black hair and these ocean blue eyes.

“My husband should be returning shortly. He went down to the market to pick up some things. Won’t be much longer.” She said in a monotone voice. I smiled and continued setting up. Once I finished, we heard the car pulling up. The woman stood up quickly and walked over to the door, greeting her husband as he walked in. They both glared at each other for a moment then continued back into the living room. I walked over to the man, extending my hand and smiled widely.

            “Hello sir, my name is Jeffrey Thomas. I’m with Kirby Vacuums and your wife kindly let me in to demonstrate our newest model for y’all. Would that be alright?” I asked cheerfully.

            “Pleasure, Mr. Thomas. I’m Frank Lane and my wife is Glorietta Lane. That’s just fine. Excuse me for a moment while I store our groceries.” He said.

            “I’ll put them away honey, you two get to talking.” Mrs. Lane said as she took the bags from Mr. Lane. We walked back into the living room and I handed Mr. Lane our brochures. I started talking about the model, its differences from our last vacuum, and how they could benefit from this sale. I really felt like I was getting to him as he was expressing great interest in buying. He used the vacuum in some spots of the house and was pleased with the result it produced. I asked him about signing off on the purchase and he froze. I looked at him and his eyes were blank. The color seemed to have left his face and the man looked like he had just frozen to death.

            “Mr. Lane, are you alright?” I asked while reaching out to shake his shoulder. He grabbed my hand quickly and flung it away. My eyes widened at this reaction. I stood back and he just looked up at me with a devilish glare.

            “Leave.” He said softly but with a much deeper voice. I quickly gathered my things and packed up the vacuum and rushed to my car. Did I say something to upset him? I shoved everything in the backseat and threw myself into the drivers seat. As I started my car, I heard Mrs. Lane scream a blood curdling cry. I was fighting the urge to run back in there but instead I drove home as fast as I could. 30 minutes later I pulled into my garage and walked over to the house phone. I rang the police and gave them the address to the Lane’s.

~

            It was morning. The smell of coffee filled the air and I could hear my wife and daughter singing in the kitchen. I smiled, stretched, and rolled out of bed. I messily re-made the bed and joined my family in the kitchen. My wife, Maryanne, was making pancakes while my daughter, Poppy, was setting the table. I picked up my daughter and ran around the kitchen with her. She was yelling and laughing, exposing all her missing baby teeth. My wife turned around and watched the both of us with a cute smirk on her face. I locked eyes with her, put down Poppy, and walked over to give my wife a kiss. She turned off the stove and topped off the last pancakes on the tower that she’s already made. I grabbed the plate, two coffee cups and headed to the table. Maryanne grabbed the coffee pot for us and orange juice for Poppy. She was already stuffing her face with a rolled-up pancake she stole from the pile.

            “How was the sale last night?” asked Maryanne.

            “They were an interesting couple to say the least. They allowed me in and the sale seemed to be going well but as soon as we were getting to signing the paperwork, his expression changed and he asked me to leave.” I didn’t want to tell her about having to call the police.

            “I’m sorry, love. We’ll find more customers once we get more familiar with the area. Our neighbors might be interested in buying one. I was talking with them while Poppy and I were bringing in the boxes yesterday.” She said reassuringly. None of us were thrilled about the move but because I was laid off back in our hometown, I was forced to find another job and the only thing available was a Kirby salesman here in Shattucksburg, Ohio. Our daughter didn’t quite understand why she had to leave her friends behind but we promised she would love the new area that we moved to. This was a promise I had a feeling we weren’t going to be able to keep.

            After breakfast, I excused myself and started getting ready for a new day. Yesterday I made 3 sales while today I’m hoping to make 4 more. I have two couples who are ready to sign the paperwork so it’s just a matter of finding the last two. I thought maybe if I looked dapper, I could get their attention. I dressed in a light brown checkered suit, brown slacks, and dark brown Oxfords. I grabbed some gel and slicked back my hair. A few whites were already starting to poke through my black hair. I sighed over the salt and pepper look I was started to get. I picked a gray, leather briefcase to match my gray framed glasses. The outfit was paired with a brown/gold tie. As I was adjusting my suit, viewing myself in the bathroom mirror my daughter walked in and said, “You look great, daddy! You’re going to sell lots of vacuums!” I picked her up and gave her a tight hug before leaving.

~

            I was walking up to my front door as my day ended. I didn’t make any sales so I was a little disappointed. My wife greeted me outside and told me Frank Lane had asked if I would be able to go to their house this evening. They were going to buy two vacuums. I was taken back hearing this after the last interaction I had with them but nodded my head.

            “I’ll be back in about two hours.” I said.

            “Drive safe.’ My wife said as blowing a kiss. I caught it, placed it in my jacket pocket, and drove back towards the road. My mind kept wandering as I couldn’t imagine how this sale was going to go but if it did go through, I would have met my quota for the month which will earn us a raise. I anxiously started to tap on the steering wheel. It was 7:30 and there were no streetlights leading up the their home. I was relying solely on the headlights of my car which weren’t much of a help. A cat would run in front of the car every now and then giving me a heart attack. I parked the car and walked up to the front door with only the paperwork in hand in case I had to make a quick escape. Before I had a chance to knock, Mr. Lane answered the door. He seemed happier than before and let me in right away. We walked into the living room, but all of the furniture was missing. I swallowed before asking this question I knew I was going to regret.

            “Where’s Mrs. Lane? Are ya’ll moving?” I asked trying not to sound nervous.

            “Hah! You guessed it. We’re looking to buy two of those vacuums you were selling so Glorietta can take one with her and I can keep one here with me.” He said smiling.

            “Oh, I see. Alright well, I won’t waste your time then. Shall we go over the paperwork? Here is the -.” He interrupted me.

            “No, no, not necessary. Just give me the documents to sign and I assume you have the vacuums in your car?” He said as he grabbed the papers from my hand. I nodded and walked back to my car to grab the vacuums. I popped open the trunk and pulled out the last two boxes. I took a deep breath. Are they getting a divorce? Where was Mrs. Lane now?

            “Here you go, Mr. Lane.” I said as I put down the vacuums.

            “Great! Thanks for your business, Mr. Thomas.” He said handing me back all the paperwork signed. He started walking towards the back of his house.

            “Excuse me, but I didn’t get a chance to ask. How did you know where to reach me?” I asked hesitantly.

            “Oh!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blank card. “You dropped your business card.” I froze and bowed my head.

            “Enjoy your evening.” I walked to my car and drove home.

~

            Business was starting to do really well, and Maryanne joined me in selling when she had time between dropping off and picking up Poppy from school. We were making quite a few sales each week where we were now living comfortably. We remodeled our whole house, Poppy got new clothes and a swing set in our back yard. I couldn’t help but think of how Mr. and Mrs. Lane were doing and if they ever got help for whatever was going on that strange night. I shrugged off the thought and walked over to the swing where Poppy was sitting. My wife went inside to start making dinner while I was pushing Poppy on the swing. We were laughing and making jokes. She was already growing up so fast, I don’t want to waste my life selling and missing out on all these little moments with my daughter. Back home, I missed so much just trying to put food on the table. I give credit to my wife for taking care of her during the toughest years of her childhood.

            “What do you think mommy is going to make for dinner?” I asked.

            “She’s making a roast. We have company tonight!” She said excited. This is the first time we’ve had company since moving in.

            “Are the neighbors joining us for dinner?” I asked.

            “No, mommy said their name was Lane.” She said before running inside. My eyes widened. I didn’t know how to react. I walked inside and asked Maryanne if this was true.

            “Yes, they called yesterday afternoon saying how happy they were with the sale and that they wanted to express their gratitude for you being so kind. You must’ve really helped them out with something.” She smirked. I didn’t react and she changed her expression looking at me confused.

            “Is everything alright? I’m sorry I should’ve asked you.” She apologized.

            “No, no, that’s fine. I’m just surprised is all.” I said and smiled back at her. I walked over to our bathroom to wash up before dinner. It can’t be them.

            A couple hours later someone was knocking at the door. My wife greeted them and it was Mr. Lane but Mrs. Lane wasn’t the same person. This woman had short, blonde hair and bright hazel eyes. She was taller and had a fuller physique. She was wearing a green polka dot dress with white heels.

            “Hi there! Nice to meet you, I’m Jeffrey Thomas.” I said greeting the new woman. They laughed as if I had just said some kind of joke. I tilted my head in confusion.

            “Has it been that long, Mr. Thomas? It’s Glorietta! I know I’ve aged a bit but my, I guess it’s time to find a new moisturizer.” She chuckled.

            “My mistake, nice to see you both again.” My wife showed them to the dining room where everything was set up. They brought wine and a gift for Poppy. I never mentioned I had a daughter. I never got to talk about anything other than the sale. We all had dinner together and my wife was the life of the party. All their attention was on her while I just sat there and watched. Poppy went to bed early with the new doll the Lane’s gave her. I started doing the dishes and cleaning up while they stayed talking. A few moments later Mr. Lane came up from behind me.

            “Thank you for having us over, Jeffrey. It was a lovely evening.” Frank said.

            “Yes, thank you all for joining us and thank you for bringing a gift for my daughter.” I responded.

            “Poppy is a great kid. She’s lucky to have such a great mother.” He said with no expression.

            “Why don’t I show you what we’ve done to the place? We moved back last week and just remodeled. We put that vacuum to good use!” He laughed as he slammed my shoulder. I don’t believe this was a question but more of a statement, so I followed. I told my wife I was going to join them to see their remodel and she gave me a kiss good-bye. They drove us to their house even though I insisted on following them in my own car. The house looked completely different. It was painted, the stairs were re done, the picket fence was gone, the grass was fresh and there was cobblestone for their driveway rather than the dead grass. How the hell did they afford to do all of this? We walked inside and they showed me to the living room. This is where the tour stopped. Although the house seemed new, it smelt even worse than before. The new Glorietta walked to their kitchen and started to open another bottle of wine. Frank sat down on their sofa and said I should walk around, make myself at home. I have to admit I was curious after only ever seeing the living room.

            The house was now refurbished with wood floors which were once dirty carpet, the wallpaper has been changed to baby blue and before it was white walls. There was a bedroom on the right side of the house past the kitchen, the bathroom on the left and another large room which I assume led to the garage. I tried turning the doorknob but it was locked. I tried again and Mr. Thomas appeared from behind me opening the door and pushing me in. It was dark, anxiety was filling my body. The smell multiplied by a thousand in this room. What animal died in here? I stood up and used my hands to feel my way back to the door. I started screaming and banging on the door for them to let me out. The sound of the vacuums started, and I stopped. I just stood there and listened. I stepped back and went further into the room. My foot caught something on the ground and I fell flat on my back hitting my head on the concrete floor.

~

            My eyes slowly started to open again. My vision hazy, my head pounding and my body feeling restricted. I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. I opened them again and noticed I was still in the garage. My arms and legs were tied up to a chair, there was blood on the floor where I landed and what looked like Mrs. Lane in the other corner of the room tied up. I tried to wiggle myself free from the ropes and tried to get Glorietta’s attention.

            “Psst.. Glorietta. Hey, wake up! Seriously, Glorietta, get up!” She wasn’t moving. The new Glorietta walked in and startled me. She looked expressionless and pale almost as the old Glorietta had looked when I last saw her. She walked closer and busted out into hysterical laughter. She stopped, looked over to the door and collapsed to the floor. I watched in horror. I viscously started rubbing my wrists together to loosen up the rope but nothing was working. I was only making small abrasions on my wrists. I looked at the door as it started creaking open slowly. Frank Lane’s body was suddenly thrown into the room. I looked at him there, no bruises, no cuts, just his body laying there as if his soul was taken out of him. Another woman was walking in and my vision was beginning to blur again. The room was getting darker and voices in my head were growing louder as she approached. She looked so familiar, but I couldn’t focus on her. The voices were screaming, laughing, chanting and she leaned towards my face. All the voices stopped and I recognized her.

            “Maryanne…” I murmured before falling unconscious.

~

            Maryanne was making breakfast in the kitchen while I was setting the table. The roast was starting to get tender and the smell was making my stomach growl. I was starving this morning. I gathered all the trash and threw it in the bin outside. Mostly old paperwork, clothes, and items left behind by the last family who lived here. I walked back inside to see Maryanne sitting at the table waiting for me. We sat down together to enjoy our first meal in our new home. She blinked and her eyes turned white. I smirked, and my eyes went black. A dark aurora cast above us, voices filling the room. We started eating and I picked up the paper to skim over the articles.

     Missing Person’s Report:

Ms. Kary Roberts, 41 years. Last seen wearing green polka dot dress. If anyone sees this woman, please call the local police department.

Mrs. Maryanne Thomas, 35 years. Last seen wearing blue jeans, a white top with white sneakers. Daughter Poppy Thomas has been taken into Child Care Services. If anyone sees this person, please call the local police department.

Mr. Jeffrey Thomas, 46 years. Last seen wearing a blue t-shirt, black slacks, and black sneakers. Daughter Poppy Thomas has been taken into Child Care Services. If anyone sees this person, please call the local police department.

Officer James Turner, 29 years. Last seen two months ago. If anyone sees this person, please call the local police department.

Lieutenant Darryl Hampton, 50 years. Last seen two months ago. If anyone sees this person, please call the local police department.       

Autumn Leaves

A Short Story

His boots scraped across the pavement as we walked down the streets of our neighborhood while my shoes crunched the leaves in our path. The cool breeze swept his flannel behind him and made his hair flow like a Disney prince. He gripped his sweater and pulled it around him tightly. I chuckled. The leaves were falling off the trees, scattering around us doing their little dance with the wind. Sights of yellow, orange, and brown with a pink sunset made this evening feel surreal. It’s like mother nature really wanted to announce the fall season this year. The air smelled of crisp apples, spices, and burning wood from the chimneys. Some of our neighbors had different types of pumpkins displayed in their yard while some had scarecrows sitting on benches and those who were anxiously awaiting Halloween already had some cobwebs and ghosts strewn about. Comfort from the cozy weather, fear from spooky costumes or attractions, and love while family gathers is what makes this time of year so special. Today I’m thankful to be here in this lifetime because I met you. Before you, I was as brittle as the leaves beneath our feet. I glanced up watching you walk in front of me and my heart felt warm. I want to feel this way every day.

I Won’t Give Up

A Short Story

             We were sitting together in Rose Park, not saying a word but just enjoying the time we were spending together. I don’t think any of us had a clear head or knew what to say but I know this for sure, we were all thinking the same thing. What does one do when they’ve just discovered they have cancer? How do you tell your family? I’m hoping one day I will wake up, and it will all be a lie.

            My grandpa was on the far end of one of the garden benches while my mom and I were sitting together across from him. The weather was cloudy and there was a slight breeze blowing around the fallen rose petals in small swirls around us. It’s as if they were dancing for us, feeling something was wrong. Tension and anxiety slowly started to fill the air making it almost difficult to breathe. We didn't know if we should say something or just stay in silence. Tears were forming in my mothers eyes and there was a massive lump forming in my throat. Now wasn’t the time to show weakness in front of the man who always stayed strong for us. He was sitting there across from us silent, twiddling his thumbs. My grandpa isn't the type of man to sit in silence, much less with an unsettling look on his face. He was always the positive one making jokes so everyone could smile despite what was going on around us. There wasn’t much light of the situation at the time, so we all just looked at each other and did nothing.

            “You know we’ll support you in what ever you decide.” my mom said. My grandpa didn’t respond but shook his head to let her know she was heard. We all stood up and walked back to the car to go back home. It was a long, silent drive and all I could see from the backseat was my grandpa gazing out the window with a dull look in his eyes. Once we got home, my mom and grandpa took a few moments to talk with one another. They did this often so they had extra father daughter time. He would tell her old stories or they would talk about his cancer and what we wanted to do for it. Often times he would mention how he was worried to leave us behind. Hearing that hurt the most.

            Prostate cancer. We caught it early so we still had a few options to choose from in regards to treatment. Surgery was the first suggestion. We stared at my grandpa as the doctor was explaining this to him. We asked that we have a few days to think about this before making the decision although we all knew he was going to say yes. “Quality of life is what’s important. I’m not in pain and I want to live.”

            It was difficult letting the family know about his cancer. Everyone would start crying and say a prayer with him. For some reason, it was more difficult to tell certain family members than others. Just seeing them made the tears flow down my cheeks before my grandpa even got a chance to tell them. He didn’t laugh as much for the first couple of weeks and he didn’t really say much. Most of our time together was seeing him wander off into his own thoughts. My grandpa is a strong man, one who doesn’t show he is upset because he wants to be the light spirit of it all. This time, we had to be the ones to bring the light back into his life.

~

2007

            “Pompo!” I exclaimed. He gazed over to see me reeling in a fish. He hurriedly came over and helped me bring it in.

            “Did you see that?! It was huge!” I said impressed. He chuckled and agreed with me. The fish wasn’t very big I later found out but at the time, I thought it was massive. We stayed a couple more hours at the lake since not many fish were biting. My grandpa would continue showing me how to cast the line out. There were a couple times when it got stuck in a tree near us that he decided he would cast the line out and I could watch the poles. We left that day catching about five fish. It was one of the best days I’ve spent with my grandpa.

 ~

            The surgery was tomorrow. All of his brothers and sisters were getting ready to meet us at the hospital in the morning so we could be there together. I tried to fall asleep early but I kept tossing and turning. Anxiety started clouding my thoughts like a barrier. Be strong… be strong. “I’ll be okay, mi hita. Haha, don’t worry so much.”

            The waiting room was quiet. Minutes seemed like hours as we patiently waited for the doctor to call him in for surgery. Once they did, we all jumped off our chairs. We don’t know why we did but we then hurriedly walked towards my grandpa to give him a long, reassuring hug. My cheeks were turning red as I was holding back tears because this felt like we were saying goodbye. Everyone was on edge, looking exhausted and holding their rosaries in their hands. I swung my arms around him tightly, told him I love him and would be right by his side when he wakes up. The doctors walked him out of the room and we all slumped back down in our chairs. My grandma was crying as his siblings were comforting her. My mom and I just looked at each other and decided to walk to the chapel. I didn’t know where to begin. My mom already started praying but I sat there wondering how to start. No one should ever be told those words… you have cancer. Flashbacks started running through my mind like film. I sat there and just took a deep breath. He was in surgery now but I felt him with me. A couple hours later and his surgery was successful.

~

2010

My grandpa and I were walking along one of the arroyos behind his house. Water was flowing high and there were pretty rocks everywhere. Today we were looking for arrow heads. There’s usually a ton of them laying around the land so we would pick some up every now and then. The water was cold, hitting my toes through my jelly sandals and my grandpa’s boots getting soaked.

            “The water used to be higher when I was a kid. My friends and I would sneak out of the house and come out here to eat apples from the trees.” he said reminiscing.

            “What kind of apples?” I asked.

            “Small crab apples. I’ll show you what they look like when we walk back. There’s only a couple trees left now.” he said looking around.

            “Did you collect arrow heads with your friends too?”

            “No, we just caused trouble.” he laughed. We left that day with a handful of arrow heads and one crab apple.

~

            One year had passed and everything seemed perfect. His energy levels were normal and he was cracking jokes again. His appearance was livening up again where you could again see that sparkle in his eyes. After his surgery, he stayed with us for a month and I would be there to take care of him. We loved the extra time together but to him, he felt as if he were being a burden. My mom would occasionally try to help but he didn’t want her to do anything, just me. It frustrated her but made me laugh. My grandma came over every day to check on him, watch tv in the afternoons, and take small naps after their show ended. Once she was ready to go home, we would all be pretty tired so we’d fall asleep not long after she left.

            The VA hospital was busy the day of his follow up appointment. This was important because they would tell us his PSA now after recovering from surgery. We got to the GU and met with his doctor. His PSA levels were rising, his cancer came back.

~

2015

            We were laying out large moving blankets and small tables to put our stuff on. I usually sold clothes, jewelry, and books. My grandpa would sell jewelry, artwork, and stuff he no longer wanted that he collected through his life. We would always stay pretty busy during the day and I never knew if it was because they knew his signs or because we lived in a neighborhood that attracted a decent amount of traffic.

            Once we were done setting up, people immediately started coming up to browse. He enjoyed the socialization and he made all of them leave with a smile on their face or bursting out in laughter. I enjoyed watching him have fun but by the end of the day, our eyes would start to feel heavy. The highest point of it all was watching people leave happy with what they bought. He taught me at an early age that happiness is key to quality of life. Materials mean nothing but someones happiness means everything.

~

            Radiation. My grandpa scheduled appointments to have radiation therapy done although all of us were concerned about it. The possible side effects and the possibility that this may not help made us hesitant but in the end, it was his decision and he decided to proceed with the treatment. He told my mom he’s not ready to give up this battle yet. He started his radiation therapy every Monday - Friday for two and a half months. My mom and I would take turns driving him to his appointments since the drive was a couple hours and he would be tired afterwards. He made a couple of friends who went for treatment around the same time as him so he would leave my mom and I by ourselves to go chat with his new buddies.

            His treatment took maybe 10 minutes then we were ready to leave. For the first month, he felt no discomfort or showed any signs that the radiation was affecting him but on the second month, things took a turn. He started getting nauseous when he ate, he was loosing a little bit of weight, his energy levels were dropping again and he was getting burned from the treatments. He wouldn’t mention any of this to anyone except for me so I had to make sure I could do anything I could to ease his discomfort without accidentally mentioning it to the rest of the family.  So far, nothing would help but I was determined to keep looking. After several attempts to get him feeling back to normal, he decided we should just let the symptoms fade at their own rate. 

            His symptoms were getting worse but at about six months after his radiation treatment, they started to go down. With new anxiety forming from what news his doctor would give us next, I started to get sick as well. The constant stress and worrying over his well being was making me forget to take time to care for myself. All of us were beat down and exhausted but him, he showed nothing just as if this were a normal day without cancer. His next appointment was coming up soon so we decided to send our prayers. My grandma and my mom went to a few churches around town asking the nuns to pray as we awaited his new PSA results. His siblings spent every night saying a prayer and talking to him on the phone to ease his worries. Me, I asked God for a miracle because this isn’t his time. He isn’t ready to leave this life and I’m not ready to loose him either. I shut my eyes tight, took a deep breathe and prayed.

            “Hello, this is Dr. S. from the VA. Am I speaking with Mr. R?” the doctor asked.

            “Yeah, this is him.” my grandpa said nervously. We all stood by him listening to the doctor.

            “I’m calling about your PSA levels. Your levels have started to decrease. I believe the radiation therapy worked. Congratulations, Mr. R.” the doctor said delighted. He was finally going to be cancer free. My grandpa thanked the doctor and we all hugged each other. With the great news, we decided to celebrate. My grandpa and I went to the grocery store to buy some food to make a big dinner. My mom and grandma stayed at home to start with what we had. The tension and the silence was gone and he was happy. We spent every day together after I got off work and we would drive around town, enjoying every moment as if we just began a new life. We spread the word to his brothers and sisters and everyone was overjoyed. Even the weather praised his health as it was nothing but clear, sunny days afterwards.

~

2020

                   I couldn't help but wonder how he must have felt then and how he must feel now. All these thoughts made me want to call him or drive to his house just to see him. I suddenly started to miss him and wondered, what am I going to do when he’s really gone? Death is inevitable but his memory will live on for a very long time. I shut my eyes finally fell asleep but couldn't wait to wake up the next morning just so I can call him, knowing he's still here.

~

 Two months later. The phone was ringing.

            “Hello, is this Mr. R?” the voice asked.

            “Yes, who’s this?” he muttered.

            “This is Dr. S. from the VA. Your recent lab work came back and your PSA levels have begun to rise again. I apologize Mr. R, it seems the cancer has started to spread.” Everything in the world stopped.

Solitude

A Reflection

Raindrops were sliding down the foggy windows of the living room. I cuddled up under a big, fully blanket feeling the warmth instantly fill my body. The world was silent tonight. Only the rain was tapping around the house, splashing on the grass outside, the sound of water boiling in the kitchen for my tea, and that was it. The next second, thunder. It echoed across the valley and shook the whole house. Each one getting louder and louder, the dark clouds shifted, and the rain was really coming down now. The vibrations from the thunder filled my chest so I closed my eyes. I felt alive listening and embracing the nature around me. How else are we to prove we are in existence if we cannot feel other things around us? I walked over to the kitchen, my bare feet feeling the cold of the hardwood floor and poured the boiling water over my tea leaves. As the steam began to rise to my face there were sudden hints of the chamomile aroma filling my nose. I took a small sip and walked back to the sofa with my blanket. Brief flashes of lightning would appear in the distance like it was natures own paparazzi wanting to capture the beauty of this dark, stormy night. I rested my head down and finished my tea, later falling asleep to the whispers of the wind setting the rain free from our new strange, distant reality.

A Sense of Love

A Short Story

            The alarm on my nightstand started to vibrate vigorously as if to move my whole bedroom. I groaned and felt around on the table to shut off the alarm. I shut my eyes as much as I could as I squeezed into a small ball and stretched my whole body out like a dog. I slowly rolled out of bed and the cool air sent goosebumps down my body. I glided my fingertips back and forth across my arm to feel each little bump on my skin. It was such a weird sensation but nevertheless made me smile. My feet touched the smooth hardwood floor and each step I felt the different grooves on the wood. Each panel had its own distinction to where I could tell where I was standing in my bedroom.

            I grabbed the clothes that were laid out neatly for me by my roommate, Lee. She was kind enough to lay out my outfit for the day. I threw on my bra, swung each arm into the sleeves of a t-shirt while stepping into my denim jeans. The material was how I was able to tell what I was wearing. Lee would tell me if she wasn’t at work already. I dispensed a little bit of lotion onto my hands and rubbed it all along my arms. The scent reminded me of summer, plumeria and mandarin. The lotion started to absorb into my skin like a protective coat was laid on top of me. I took a deep breath in and began to comb my hair into a ponytail. I brushed my teeth and walked out the door to work.

            The walk wasn’t long. It was maybe 20 minutes if I didn’t need to wait long for traffic as I crossed the streets. All I heard was people talking on their cellphones and sending texts as they walked past me. The sound of them typing was sometimes so quick I couldn’t tell if they were pretending to be busy or they were just that good at texting. I’m sure they were all staring at me as I walked past people with my walking stick pointed out in front of me. Sometimes I wish Lee could walk me but we both have very different lives. She likes to stay out and party while I have to stick to the same route everyday so I don’t get lost. She does her best to take care of me once she is home in the morning so I do appreciate her. I just miss her and would like for her to spend more time with me. The ground on the way to work was rough and warm. The heat would often penetrate through the bottom of my flats so I’d have to walk fast otherwise I swore they would melt.

            There was one stop I always liked to make every morning and that was the local bakery. They always had my order ready before work. Once I started to smell the fresh pastries and the bitter aroma of coffee my stomach would start to rumble. The employees would wait for me by the front door and hand me my usual order; a small coffee, no cream with lots of sugar and a blueberry muffin. The employee would call out my name, Lynn, and hand me the crinkled brown bag. I always liked the crunching sound it makes when I grab it. It’s as if the bag has been anxiously waiting for me. I thanked the employee and handed them my card. 

            I knew when I would enter the building to work because the feeling would change instantly. The state building has a polished, cool concrete floor and air conditioning would flow through the whole building. I felt very comfortable here. Amanda, the front desk receptionist, greeted me every morning. She’d help me to my chair and lay my walking stick somewhere near by so I would have easy access to it if she wasn't there to help me find it. We sat there and laughed for hours, working nonstop till around 4:30 pm. Now I’m sure you're wondering how a blind girl got a job working as a receptionist. It’s quite easy honestly. Amanda helped me add braille to the filing cabinets so I could file everything in the correct place and I get to greet everyone as they come in. Everything was very organized for me too. At the end of the day, all the employees bring us their name tags and any paperwork to be done before the next day. I always eagerly wait for Dean to bring us his name tag.

            Dean is one of the officers here at the state building. He has an intense tone to his voice that sends chills down my spine and also gets my heart racing. When he laughs, I always wonder if he has a pretty smile and perfect white teeth. I find myself struggling to keep it together once he's around so Amanda quickly picked up on this. She’s been pushing me to ask him on a date but with a blind girl, I think that would feel more like a babysitting job than a fun night out.

            Dean walked up to the front desk to wish Amanda and I a good night as he handed us his badge. As he pulled his hand away, his rough skin rubbed against mine and my body didn’t know how to react. Thousands of goosebumps filled my arms, I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks, and I suddenly forgot how to speak. I quickly placed his badge in the drawer for the next morning. I heard Dean start to walk away with some of the other officers. All I remember hearing for the rest of that shift was his combat boots thumping against the floor causing a deep echo then the doors closing behind him.

            Everything I know about him is based off what I hear, feel, and smell. He wears the same cologne every day, Dior Sauvage. Amanda said he always has a long sleeve shirt under his uniform that barely shows his wrist when he reaches out. His skin is rough as you would imagine a construction workers hands would feel. Amanda tried telling me more about his appearance but I constantly refuse because I’m afraid after knowing, I’ll never grow the courage to talk to him again. Besides, who wants the burden of being the poor blind girls crush.

            Five months passed. Amanda and I were getting ready to leave work for the day until Dean approached the desk. He placed something heavy down and took a deep breath. I held my hand out for Dean to hand over his badge but he didn’t. He told me he got a job offer out of state for a higher position. I tried to be excited for him but I couldn’t help but sound upset. I heard Amanda push her chair back and walk away. She never left me alone so I assume she knows something I don’t. Dean had walked around the desk and asked if he could sit next to me. We sat down and he said to ask him anything. I was confused at first but did as I was told. I asked him the question I’ve had for all 3 years of working here… what did he look like?

            He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cheek. I moved my hand down his cheek, across his jaw and back up to his nose. He had stubble that scratched my fingertips as I moved across his face, smooth skin that I imagine glows in the sunlight, long eyelashes and bushy eyebrows, and his hair felt straight and thick but was still smooth. He told me he had jet black hair, emerald colored eyes and I felt a scar on his left eyebrow. I slumped back in my chair and he grabbed my hand softly and placed it on his ear. I was confused but then I knew why he had done this. I felt his hearing aid. I froze for a moment then continued to feel around both of his ears. His breathing shifted. I grabbed his hand and thought to myself, you can be my eyes… my window to the world, I can be your ears… your music to the soul.

Something about the Holidays

A Short Story

            The cold, winter wind piercing through my gray jacket and checkered shirt as I walked down the sidewalk. It’s December 20th, the Plaza is glowing from all the Christmas lights and animated decorations. Couples were cradling each other on the park benches, gazing into one another eyes like they were staring at the rarest gem in the world, gripping onto each other’s hands as if it were their last day together. I gripped my books closer to my chest and looked down at the sidewalk trying not to bump into others. I opened one of the books in my hand and started to silently read while I walked through the night. Others passing by watching me, wondering why I chose to walk alone on this oddly romantic night. I didn't know the answer either. I finished a few pages of Joseph Mitchell’s, Up In The Old Hotel, then slipped. I let out a silent grunt and felt the heat surround my cheeks as I hurried to collect my things. Embarrassed as couples watched me as they passed, I felt something touch my fingertips. I looked up and froze. A young man with pale skin, dark hair, and pale pink lips was helping me get myself together. He looked up, confused for a second, as I was awe-struck by his appearance. He had on this long black coat, grey worn out combat boots, a few beaded bracelets and a beanie. He gathered all my books as I just stared and he helped me up with this sly smile on his face. He laughed at the sight of my face reddening even more than it already was. I couldn't help but muster a big, dorky smile. I thanked him, and he again just flashed that smile at me. My heart rate picked up and I noticed my mouth was slightly open making clouds of breath come out in the brisk air. He adjusted his jacket and started to walk past me. I waved and he winked back at me. I gasped for air as the goosebumps on my arms heightened at the thought of seeing him again although I knew it was very unlikely. I walked down the street and went inside the coffee shop for a warm cider. There he was again. I again, froze in my footsteps then gained the confidence to speak to him. I tapped on his shoulder, gave him a warm smile, and he returned it by pulling me in for warm embrace. I’m glad I decided to walk alone this cold, oddly romantic night. There’s just something about the holidays that I’ll never understand.

A Tale of A Summer’s Eve

Poetry

The grass wasn’t so green

The birds weren't chirping and everything wasn't what it seemed

It was bleaker and grayer

Which seemed like a dream.

The reality was this

So we gathered in prayer.

I felt like the leaves breaking apart from the trees

Being kicked, stepped on, and lost in the seams.

What are we to do when this town was all we knew?

Whom do we ask when everyone felt so blue?

I ponder and gather all that I can

In hopes to rebuild our once promise land.

All that I asked had been shrugged away

No one wants to hear what a foreign man has to say.

A war between two worlds

Breaking our bonds

For they are the superiors

And I don't belong.

I stayed in this town to rebuild my dream

But this summer’s eve I had to leave.